i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
