apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
