I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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