I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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