i jhust puked up my retainher.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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