yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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