his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
