She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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