We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
