stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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