Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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