stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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