dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
