This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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