sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
