You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
