I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
