bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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