just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
