when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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