Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
