Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
