alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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