idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Actions speak louder than pants.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
