we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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