try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
