...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
