Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i already hear my dad disowning me
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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