she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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