maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Less talking, more tequila
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
