so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
