soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
