dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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