Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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