If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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