sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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