Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
