Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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