Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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