Hey man sorry I got all grabby
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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