We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
