Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize