Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
