You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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