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a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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