Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
