And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
