Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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