I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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