Just fell off a train. Bad.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
