the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
