omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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