My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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