Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
