look no pants
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
