smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
