Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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