He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
