It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
