Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
