Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
