Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
