He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
