Porn is love you can see.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
