Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
