So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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