after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
