I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize