They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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