I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
