Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
