we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize