i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
